A lot of times in life the thing that holds us back is not other people, but ourselves. As we grow up we form ideas of what our education should be like, our job should look like, our marriage will be like or our kids should act like. These ideas get formed by either what we have seen or what others have told us they should look like. The problems start when we hold on to these ideas so tightly we can’t leave room for change. Life is all about change and each person’s life is so unique it will never mirror another. So to try to base our lives to be like what others have been, we are not allowing our individual uniqueness to shine through. We might then start to experience issues in our relationship with our spouse if our marriage doesn’t turn out to be how we pictured it, or with our children if they do not act the way we thought they would. Instead of trying to change the things around you like your job, your spouse and your children, maybe it is time to start to look within. A lot of the time if we look at why we are unhappy it is because, ‘it is not what I thought it would be.’ That is a great place to start.

From this point it might be time to form a new picture of your life. Try to appreciate the differences in the relationships you have. Instead of having a spouse who you thought would cater to your every need, you have a spouse who is pushing you to grow in areas you were not familiar with. Instead of having kids who do everything you tell them to without questioning you, your kids force you to deal with disappointments you had in your childhood or insecurities you still have yet to face. Instead of having a job where you rose to the top and took over the company, you have a negative boss who is teaching you a lesson of how to love people who do not show you love. We can never know how our lives will turn out, but that does not mean that our actual life is worse than our preconceived life. It means there are many lessons in life we are still learning. The more we fight these changes and differences, the more miserable we make ourselves and those around us. If we allow ourselves to be open to the ever expanding possibilities of our life, our life will be more fulfilling than we ever imagined. It may not be the life you pictured, but it will be a life you can truly embrace and is as unique as you are.